Facing your fears

Avoidance

Avoiding things that make you anxious can seem like the natural thing to do, as it brings relief in the moment.

But over time, avoidance keeps anxiety going and may lower your confidence and self-esteem.

Examples of avoidance:

• saying no to social plans
• avoiding phone calls or appointments
• calling in sick to avoid a presentation.
• not going to places where you’ve felt anxious before

Often, if you had gone, it might not have been as bad as you feared – and you may have surprised yourself at how well you coped.

Gradual exposure

Facing fears in small, manageable steps can help you rebuild confidence.

How to do it:

1. Start with a small challenge (for example, practising a presentation with a friend).
2. Repeat it until it feels easier.
3. Build up gradually to harder situations as you start to feel more confident.
4. Notice how anxiety often reduces with practice.
5. Facing your fears helps break the cycle of anxiety over time.

The Five steps to facing your fears worksheet can help you face situations that cause you to feel anxious.

Safety behaviours

It’s also very common to use ‘safety behaviours’ to help cope with challenging situations and events.

These can include:

• sitting at the back of the room to avoid attention
• lowering your eyes to avoid being noticed
• listening to music on public transport to avoid contact with strangers
• wearing a high necked jumper (because of fear of going red and blushing)
• carrying a water bottle around “just in case”
• reading from slides in a presentation instead of looking at the audience
• staying in the kitchen at a party
• drinking alcohol to feel less anxious
• constantly checking your mobile phone
• talking fast in a meeting to finish speaking more quickly or avoiding speaking altogether

People use safety behaviours as ‘props’ to try to prevent the thing they fear from happening. These can bring short-term relief, but over time, they can increase anxiety and make you feel less confident.

For some neurodivergent people, things like headphones or comfort items are helpful adjustments rather than safety behaviours.

Gently reducing these safety behaviours and practising facing fears is the best way to gain confidence over time

The Five steps to challenging safety behaviours worksheet can help you challenge and manage these behaviours.

Try it yourself

You will need to print off the worksheets or download it to a computer or laptop to complete this activities.

The Five steps to facing your fears worksheet can help you face situations which cause you to feel anxious

You can use the Five steps to challenging safety behaviours sheet to help you challenge and manage safety behaviours.

If these activities feel difficult, you don’t have to do them on your own. They can be easier with the support of a therapist. 

You can always talk to your GP or refer yourself to Leeds Mental Wellbeing Service (NHS Talking Therapies).

Last updated: February 2026

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