Trudi Stringer, of Leicestershire, lost her son Benjamin, 25, who lived in Leeds, in 2020.
We should be talking more about suicide. It shouldn’t be swept under the carpet; it shouldn’t be a dirty word. That to me is the reason I applied to carry the baton in Leeds. Benjamin was living in Leeds when he died, in Bramley. It’s also going to be World Suicide Prevention Day (September 10) and is also a few days after what would have been Benjamin’s 31 st birthday (August 31). It really felt right for me to come.
Benjamin was 25 when he died. Never in a million years did I think I would be in this position. Suicide was something I thought happened to other people; something you read about in the news. But now all I do is just raise awareness about suicide and try to educate people around language.
Benjamin had been living in Leeds for quite a while. He was working in Leeds and had friends and family in Leeds.
In 2020, he was coming down to us in Leicestershire for Easter but he couldn’t get down because of lockdown. There was a future date for him to come down but then Leicestershire was in the first regional lockdowns.
We thought everything was OK – there was no indication at all that he was suffering. He died on July 14, 2020. To say it was a shock is an understatement. It was horrific. It still doesn’t feel real, five years on. It’s like I’ve lived in two worlds – before and after.
He was so beautiful. He was loved by his family and he absolutely adored them. He just cared for everybody. He was quite whacky at times; he had a great sense of humour.
I just wish he had spoken to someone. I try to encourage people to speak out now, especially men – to talk to somebody, to open up.
If you notice something peculiar in a friend’s habit, if they’re not responding, if they’re not returning calls or making excuses to meet up – just check on them, have those conversations.
We are shattered by what happened. I don’t think people realise the enormity of it all. I just wish he knew how much he was loved.
I did the last Baton of Hope tour, in Birmingham, and it was wonderful to be able to speak to people who knew exactly what you were going through; to know that you can say anything and you won’t be judged. It brings you all together.
For me, carrying the baton was one of the proudest things I have ever done – and it will be again in Leeds. Not only in memory of my son Benjamin but for every family that has gone through it or is going through it. The baton represents hope.