It’s only natural that you want to be a good friend to someone you care about.
If you’re concerned about someone, it can be difficult to know how to talk to them about their mental health. You may worry that you don’t know what to say, might say the wrong thing, or that you could upset them by bringing it up.
Those worries are completely normal.
The good news is, you don’t have to have all the answers. Often, showing care and being willing to listen is what matters most.
Follow our TALKS technique to help you to start a conversation
On this page you’ll find simple ways to start a conversation, listen with care, and explore support together.
Take notice
Is your friend, relative or colleague acting differently?
Some people try to cover the signs that they’re struggling – sharing something personal can feel uncomfortable.
It might just seem that something’s not right. There may be no obvious reason, or they could be going through a difficult or stressful life event such as bereavement, relationship breakdown, money worries or work pressures.
Approach and start a conversation
You don’t need to know whether someone has sought help or had any kind of diagnosis to ask how they’re feeling.
You also don’t need to know how to ‘fix’ whatever is wrong.
Choose a time when you both have space to talk. You could start with:
- “How are you doing?”
- “How are things going?”
- “I’ve noticed you don’t seem yourself lately – I just wanted to check in.”
Sometimes people say they’re alright at first when they’re not. You can gently let them know it’s okay to talk, and that you’re there to listen.
Ask open-ended questions (ones that can’t be answered with ‘yes’ or ‘no’) to give them space to say more.
Remember, people often decide whether to open up based on how safe they feel and what kind of response they expect. They may only share a small part of what’s going on – try to let them set the pace.
Listen without judgement
It can be hard to talk about your mental health. It can make you feel exposed and vulnerable.
Your friend or relative may need to talk about difficult issues that are affecting them. Try to listen without judgment or criticism.
It can help to avoid:
- dismissing what they’re saying
- telling them how lucky they are
- suggesting you know exactly how they feel
- jumping straight into advice
Just showing you care and giving someone space to talk about their feelings can be a huge help.
You might ask: “Would you like me to just listen, or help think things through?”
Keep listening and give gentle encouragement
It can take time for someone to feel ready to talk openly. Try to stay patient and let them go at their own pace.
If you’re concerned that they may be having thoughts of suicide, it’s important to ask directly. Talking about suicide does not make it more likely to happen – it can reduce isolation and help someone feel understood.
If they don’t want to talk right now, let them know you’re there whenever they feel ready.
Suggest help and signpost
It can be difficult to take the first step to get help.
You could suggest they speak to a GP, and let them know that MindWell has helpful information about mental health support in Leeds.
You might offer to:
- look at the website together
- help them make an appointment
- go along with them for support
You could also talk about small self-care steps that might help, such as improving sleep routines, getting outside, reducing alcohol, or trying relaxation techniques.
Talking isn’t the only way to help
Sometimes practical support matters just as much as conversation.
Helping with everyday tasks, offering company, or reducing immediate pressures can make a real difference.
Support doesn’t always have to be deep or serious – consistency and care matter too.
Stay in touch
You don’t have to solve everything.
It’s important to recognise there will be limits to the help you can offer – and that’s okay.
Showing that you care is the most important thing.
You could:
- send a text to check in
- arrange a time to chat
- suggest a walk or coffee
- offer to go with them to an appointment
If they don’t respond to messages or cancel plans, continue to gently let them know you’re there – without pressure.
Download or print the above information as a pdf:
How can I talk to someone about their mental health?
Looking after yourself
Supporting someone else can be emotionally demanding.
If you’re feeling worried, overwhelmed or unsure what to do next, it’s important to look after your own wellbeing too.
You can explore support for yourself through MindWell.
Last updated: February 2026