Self-harm often happens during moments of intense distress. At these times, the urge to harm yourself can feel very strong and difficult to resist.
You may notice certain feelings, thoughts or situations that make the urge stronger.
Understanding what leads to your urges can sometimes make them easier to recognise. Many people find that urges follow patterns, with certain triggers, thoughts or physical sensations appearing before the urge to self-harm.
Noticing patterns and triggers
Urges to self-harm are often linked to certain situations, thoughts or feelings. These are sometimes called triggers.
You might notice urges appearing when:
- you’re feeling overwhelmed, angry, ashamed or numb
- something reminds you of a difficult experience
- you’re in a certain place or around certain people
- you’re having very critical or negative thoughts about yourself
Some people also notice physical sensations before an urge, such as:
- a racing heart
- feeling sick or shaky
- heavy breathing
- tension in your body
- feeling numb or detached
Recognising these early signs can help you notice when an urge may be building.
Keeping a self-harm diary
One way to understand your urges better is to keep a self-harm diary for a few weeks.
Writing things down can help you notice patterns, such as:
- what was happening before the urge
- what you were thinking or feeling
- what sensations you noticed in your body
Over time, this can help you recognise when an urge might be developing so you can look for ways to manage it.
Self-harm diary
You can download a self-harm diary to help you record your experiences.
Self-harm diary (blank)
Self-harm diary (with example)
Be gentle with yourself
Looking closely at your experiences can sometimes bring up difficult emotions.
If you decide to keep a diary, it can help to plan something supportive afterwards, such as doing something relaxing, or talking to someone you trust.