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An increasing number of us are growing older without children. By 2030, the number of people over 65 in the UK without adult children is expected to rise from 1.2 million to 2 million.

The reasons for not having children are diverse and personal. Growing older without children affects people of all genders and identities but is especially common for people who identify as LGBTQ+ or for those from communities where fertility treatments, adoption, or family-building options were less accessible earlier in life.

Here are some common situations:

  • Personal choice: Some people decide not to have children for various personal, professional, or lifestyle reasons.
  • Infertility or circumstance: Others may have faced infertility or circumstances that prevented them from having children, such as not feeling ready or meeting a partner with whom they mutually wanted to start a family.
  • Loss: Unfortunately, some people’s children may have passed away before them.
  • Distance or other challenges: Some may live far away from their children, who might have their own care needs or be unable to offer support.
  • Estrangement: In some cases, people are estranged from their children or have little contact with them.

It’s natural to sometimes wonder what life might have been like with children or to think about different paths you might have taken. Lots of people, even those with children, think about how their lives might have turned out differently. It’s okay to have these thoughts, though it can be hard when they feel overwhelming. Trying to focus on the present and finding ways to enjoy life now might help with your wellbeing.

For some people, ageing without children can be a positive experience. Many people find they have time and resources to focus on things they love doing without the responsibilities of caring for children and sometimes grandchildren.

Regardless of the reason for not having children, one common concern for anyone ageing without children is finding support in later life, especially when government policies often assume that everyone has family members they can rely on as they age and need care.

Finding support

You are not alone in facing the challenges of ageing without children. Many people share similar experiences, and there are support groups available to help.

You can connect with local support through AWOC’s Leeds group, including a closed Facebook group online where you can meet others who share similar experiences.

For more detailed resources and support, you might find the AWOC Toolkit useful, especially if you’re a health professional seeking to understand ageing without children better.