Please note: The content on these pages is currently being co-designed with people who will use it. Your feedback is welcome as we continue to refine and improve these resources.

An increasing number of us are growing older without children. By 2030, the number of people over 65 in the UK without adult children is expected to rise from 1.2 million to 2 million.

This is a sensitive topic for many, and the reasons for not having children are diverse and personal. Growing older without children affects people of all genders and identities but is especially common for people who identify as LGBTQ+ or for those from communities where fertility treatments, adoption, or family-building options were less accessible earlier in life.

Here are some common situations:

  • Personal choice: Some people decide not to have children for various personal, professional, or lifestyle reasons.
  • Infertility or circumstance: Others may have faced infertility or circumstances that prevented them from having children, such as not feeling ready or meeting a partner with whom they mutually wanted to start a family.
  • Loss: Unfortunately, some people’s children may have passed away before them.
  • Distance or other challenges: Some may live far away from their children, who might have their own care needs or be unable to offer support.
  • Estrangement: In some cases, people are estranged from their children or have little contact with them.

For some, not having children may have been a deliberate choice, while for many it was not. This situation can bring up feelings of grief, loss, and concern about accessing care and support in the future.

It’s natural to occasionally wonder what life might have been like with children or to think about different paths you might have taken. Even those with children might reflect on how their lives could have been different if they had made other choices. However, dwelling too much on what could have been can impact your mental health. Instead, try to focus on the present and the future, and find ways to live a meaningful and fulfilling life now.

Finding support

If you’re finding ageing without children challenging, remember you’re not alone. Many people share similar experiences, and there are support groups available to help.

You can find local support groups through AWOC’s Leeds group, including a closed Facebook group online where you can connect with others who understand your situation.

For more detailed resources and support, you might find the AWOC Toolkit useful, especially if you’re a health professional seeking to understand this issue better.